I turned 27 last month. Not old. Not too young. Just kind of stuck in the middle of this 3 years till 30 age. We have spent the majority of our 20’s on a roller coaster of figuring out what works best for ourselves. For our kids, for our relationship, for our lives. I think every family, no matter how big or small, needs a constant level of maintenance. Finding the perfect balance of work, play, money, family, and free time is a challenge. This past year we have learned a few things….
1. If it doesn’t happen today, it does not mean it will not happen someday.
2. It’s only a phase.
3. Let it go.
4. Do what works for YOU.
5. Be HAPPY. LIGHTEN UP!!!
1. If it doesn’t happen today, it does not mean it will not happen someday. Whether it be potential job positions, family vacations, buying a new home, or paying off credit cards. We spent far to many years stacking the odds against ourselves. Seeing everything in a negative light. Always wanting the next best thing, instead of enjoying where we were at in that moment of our lives. And once we started breaking things down and simplifying our lives, things became that much easier, and enjoyable. Nothing happens over night. Everything that is meant to happen will… you have to just stick to a game plan. Do not beat yourself up for being in a rut. Everyone is.
2. It’s only a phase. We’ve taken to this saying like nobody could. Maybe it is having 2 boys, close in age that makes challenges arise quicker than an earthquake. But, it has taken us time to not get so paranoid as to what other people think when our kids have meltdowns in public. Or will not let go of sucking their thumb (brody) – Or will only eat certain things. We learned to get over it. We take one day at a time. Our boys are our world, and if we beat ourselves up over every little thing they did “wrong” we would be exhausted, and well, they wouldn’t be kids.
3. LET IT GO. While Dan and I have a lot in common, we also have different tastes in a lot of things. SO, like every couple, we bicker, disagree, get upset, and let it fester inside. TEN years of being together and learning to “let it go” has just worked for us. We do not brush it under the rug… we’ve learned to accept our differences, talk them out, and compromise. Find a common ground where the both of us are happy… It is not letting it go unresolved. It is letting go of the constant who will win this argument idea. There is ZERO point in that!
4. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. We ALL do it. Compare, compare, compare. They have this, they did it this way, they always seem to have it together. So and so forth. It is SO hard not to constantly put yourself on the stand. Questioning every last thing you decide to do. Everyone has different families, different situations, different lives. So do what works best for you and your family. I use to always think, why doesn’t this work for us? How did they get their act together so effortlessly? And I am sure if you were a fly on the wall in others homes that you may envy, you will to see that everyone is working towards the same goals. Just in different ways. Comparing just brings out jealousy and feelings of insecurity. We try our very best to accept things the way they are, and make choices for our lives that work best for us.
5. BE HAPPY. LIGHTEN UP!!! Anyone who knows me, knows that I am nervous nelly. About everything! From food bourne illnesses, to career changes, to my kids running down the pavement. I twitch and shreak over everything and anything. I worry about everyone in my life…during good and bad times. It’s my nature. Thank goodness for Dan – because he is the most laid back guy on the block. He has taught me in so many ways to lighten the heck up. I let people get the best of me. I try to please everyone. And sometimes, you have to learn to say no. Take things day by day. You are not a failure if you don’t accomplish everything you sought out to do. Lighten up, live a little. Drop the laundry, play with the kids.
These are not rules… just my little lessons learned through some stressful times we’ve had these past few years. As husband and wife, and as parents, we will constantly evolve. Try not to get too caught up in stuff that makes you huff and puff. I am always one to get easily overwhelmed, discouraged and out of ideas. And after this past month of selling the house, we have been tested in every way imaginable! Guess these pointers are my way of making life a little clearer for me!