Being told to expect something is completely different from the actual understanding of going through that very scenario. Every “parent to be” can ramble off the endless lines of advice they heard from friends and loved ones. The fair warnings of sleepless nights, tips and tricks on nursing and proper burping techniques. How to manage bringing another baby home while you are still chasing around a toddler. Oh, those nasty never-ending ear infections and the signs you should always keep an eye out for. How to raise a well-mannered child. Confident, yet sweet. Athletic and educated. Bold yet thoughtful.
These tips and tricks get tangled into a giant web by day 1, scratch that, minute one of becoming a parent.
I was a girl who dreamed of being a mom. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up if an actress was not my first answer, a mother was quick to follow. I wanted all of the babies I could have. It was much to my surprise that our first bundle of joy was to arrive prior to an engagement ring. Long before we had our careers set up and far before we were ready to purchase our first house. I think many friends and family were far more concerned with seeing us “get it together” than how we would do raising our first-born. We were so very lucky for that. Dan and I were left to just figure it out. Very little advice and direction came our way. It was exactly how we needed it to be.
Fast forward to baby # 2 – Owen. As a second time mommy, a seasoned veteran to this whole mommy thing, I had friends and family who had been around the bases now too. It was so nice to have a group of women to turn to during those endless days of nothing going right. When doctors visits filled our calendars, tricks on how to remember antibiotic schedules and playdates packed with caffeine kept me balanced and happy. When before I thought it was so very nice to figure it all out myself, I found myself needing that support of fellow mothers.
The cocky attitude of “I’ve got this” subsided quickly as the days went on. Who the hell cares if I’ve got things under control. If one kid was running around with poop in his pants while the other one just stole a toy from another kid at a play date. You know what always happens? A friend, fellow mommy swoops in to save the day.
This is the most elite group to belong to … one that is over flowing with people who care to help.
The Mom’s club.
When you have friends who are mothers themselves, or care just as deeply about your kids, there is this special bond that spreads like wild-fire. I may change the dirty diaper, while my girlfriend will calm the cry of the toy burglars.
Of all of the advice I have been given over the past 6 years, the ONLY piece I have to say that has lasted this entire time, tried and true.
Have a community.
A tightly knit community of friends/family that you know you can turn too. They will lift you up, not judge you and tear you down. They will bring positivity into your life and your children’s too. Play dates have dwindled down to far and few lately. With school schedules and sports and all. But, the texts, the phone calls … they keep coming back and forth. Keep those that do that close mamas!
Nothing compares to having fellow moms that have your back.
I hope all of you guys had a really special mothers day this past weekend! These boys keep me on my toes and I am forever grateful for the friends and family I have had by my side over the past 6 years.