It seems like I was just sitting down writing this post One Look.
As the first day of Pre-K approached I could only think about how fast the next year was to come. And the next. And the next.
Truth be told, I am nothing short of ecstatic for Brody to be back at school. As a stay at home mom, there definitely comes a point where your ready for your kids to spread their wings and do new things. The only thing that kept rotating in my head was the fear factor. This year, he is just at school for a few hours, three days a week. Next year, (gulp) it’ll be full-time. I stayed up an extra hour the other night just tossing and turning, chatting Dan’s ear off about how scared I was to let Brody go for “that long”.
Just like last year, I drop him off, run an errand or two, and like that over protective mama bear I am, I sit in the parking lot and wait till his class is over. I have never gone home in between, I like being in the car. For some reason it justifies not being there to watch over him to me. Now, for Kindergarten next year I do not know how I will get over this hump. Trusting someone else with my sweet B all day long. Hoping and praying that he stays safe. That kids are nice to him. That he doesn’t get scared in new situations.
Give me a whole year. Ha. It’ll take me an entire year to prep for this. With all of the unthinkable things that happen on the news, it is hard to feel comfortable letting your kids out of arms reach. So, I just pray. I pray that Brody will be safe. I pray he always knows I am here to talk, when something doesn’t feel right. I hope he always knows that even though I am not standing by his side, that I am one car ride away. I hope this year will help me come face to face with what every parent avoids. Their kids growing up.
I take a deep breath. Dress him in his outfit of choice (he loves clothes just like his dad) and watch him squeal with excitement as he runs to his classroom door. He happily says goodbye, as I do too. This year for just two hours. Next year a lot more. All I have to remember is that each goodbye will be followed by heart felt hello, each and every time.