Owen and I at my most recent doctors appointment this week, a non-stress test to just check in on the little guy.  He brings on plenty of braxton hicks through the day, more so at night, and recently they have become more painful.  It’s definitely sinking in how close his arrival is!

How is it Thursday already?!

The crickets have been chirping over here on the blog the past few days, due to a sudden boost in energy and over all just feeling really good.  Being able to run errands for a few hours and not collapse in pain makes me feel like super woman.  Like walking for a few hours makes me feel like I could dance like this.

 It’s amazing what having consistent days in a row of feeling “normal” in a pregnancy can do for a mama.  Ever since the kidney stone episodes that dragged out over a month, and the following weeks of feeling so sick it is SO refreshing to feel good.  We will be 35 weeks on saturday (AH!!) So, its super bittersweet that we have only 4 more weeks to this pregnancy, but ever so exciting that we are going to meet the newest addition to our family in 4 weeks or less.

I had a mom/dad stop me in the parking lot yesterday when picking up Brody asking when the baby was due.  That they’ve “never seen such a belly like that before, so big.”  I didn’t know whether they were being sweet or just giving me a good poke.  I just replied, “Yep, feels like he’s gonna just fall out at this point” Which I am sure the last thing they expected was a crotch response.  (life. as. abby.)

With my sudden feel-good boost, I did what any other nesting preggo would do.  I spent Monday-Wednesday shopping, cleaning the most random things in the house, and finally sat down to wash and fold all of his itty bitty clothes.  I’ve been able to tackle so much this week, it has definitely settled my nerves – I need organization to feel at ease, and I am hoping my body holds up and helps me accomplish what I need to do before his arrival!

Brody has been a total rock star lately – he has another procedure next week that we are slowly prepping him for.  He’ll miss a few days of school, which he thinks is the best part.  His doctor thinks that he will be just fine and go home right afterwards, so send extra prayers his way for everything to clear!  And the excitement that pours from him + Owen over their new baby brother is just indescribable — I cannot even imagine what it will be like when he is actually in our arms!

Owen is my official side kick as of lately.  Maybe it’s the countdown to baby that subconsciously is having him drawn to me 24/7.  He’s always attached to me, jumps in bed for cuddles in the morning and acts like he’s gone weeks without seeing me even for a bathroom break.  I adore it though.  How can I not? I take one look at 7 year old Brody and cannot help but realize how fast these days are going.  So the leech stage is okay with me – I’ll take it.

The nursery reveal SHOULD be next week if RugsUSA can get their act together and ship me my rug ( 4 months is ridiculous! ) I picked up a few more things for it yesterday, and still hunting for pieces for the gallery wall above the dresser.

So that’s that folks.  I made some delicious chocolate chip banana bread bars I’ll share with you guys tomorrow + next week will be a fun week here on the blog with lots of real-time updates as to what we’ve been doing to our house!

I have entered the pregnancy insomnia stage – never had it with the boys.  I end up staying up later at night, have a hard time falling asleep, and usually wake up early.  Sure, the frequent pee breaks and baby kicks are a definite doozy to keeping me awake, but for some reason my mind won’t shut off and I turn to my one and only Pinterest to keep my mind occupied and hopefully lull my wide eyes to sleep.  Oh the anticipation of a new little life that brings on the nightly excitement buzz.

Here are some of my favorite pins as of lately !

These Carmelized Pork Tacos had me howling at the moon the other night.   If you do not already follow Pinch Of Yum yet, get on it.  Their pictures are stunning, and their recipes are delicious and fresh.  I am not a big pork eater, there is only a bit of meat I’m willing to put in my mouth ( haha. yes I said that.) So I’d totally swap for chicken.  This will definitely be a dinner for when we have guests over this summer.

Dan and I have a goal to own a lake house in the next 3 years, and if there is something you’ve learned from us here what we say we’ll do, we’ll do.  We hold ourselves to it, we love to set goals and a lake house has been a dream of ours since our early 20’s.  We figured we’re on the edge of 30 and making our lake house dreams become a reality is shooting to the top of the list.  THIS bedroom for the kiddos that stay is a huge inspriration for our future vacation home.

You can see it HERE.  I love the idea of all of the cousins/friends being crammed into one room – and this space feels so light and airy and super functional I think this kids retreat would be amazing.

This foyer has me weak in the knees.  I’m 100% positive it is my deep burning desire to destroy our orange tile in our entry/kitchen, oh yeah, bathroom, laundry room (oy!).  The implement hard wood flooring throughout our first floor – The gallery wall and this dresser just make my heart skip a beat.  It is just gorgeous!

You can find more gorgeous inspiration HERE.

THIS. HOUSE.

If only we had sidewalks, I want a path to our front door so badly it hurts.  Maybe it’s my deep love for George Banks in Father of the Bride and the scene where he gets his house back and dances up the brick pavers.  We keep going back and forth on whether we will paint our house again, remember when we did it at our old house? Or just get new siding.  We want black shutters so badly, and a new wooden door to add more contrast to our newly stripped front yard.  Something about all of this green goodness up front has me thinking we need to keep out landscaping simple and green.  Which will be a far stretch for me, because I am hydrangea obsessed.  But maybe we can take that party to the backyard? Line the new fence with all different colored hydrangeas? Our hydrangea bush at our old house was my favorite thing, and I wish we would have dug it out and took it with us, and no I am not kidding.  At all.

Oh, and for a great lifestyle/girly/mama-tips/recipes/ easy read you’ve gotta pick up

I love her approach to food and lifestyle – it made me want to turn around and completely throw away everything in our pantry. Well, the bad stuff.  Dan agrees so next week we may be purging of a ton of stuff to prep for spring/summer – and a new approach to snacks around here.  We are definitely guilty as charged for having some not so healthy snack options.  But we always eat fresh and cook constantly and for some reason justified that with the crap.  ANYWAYS.  Read this! It’s darling, and she’s darling, and if you grew up in the Laguna Beach era such as I, you’ll love having a deeper look into her life.

You can buy it HERE – and don’t be a fool, get yourself Amazon Prime.  It seriously pays for itself within a few orders.  Nothing beats having the item you ordered at your door within 2 days.  It’s like christmas every day here in The Thome Home.

My updates have not been that much fun this entire pregnancy now have they? It’s without a doubt that this pregnancy has been the most difficult.  I blame myself for all of the baby talk prior to getting pregnant, I LOVED being pregnant with the boys and their pregnancies were so smooth and enjoyable.  Challenges keep coming up what seems to be like every week.  Each week we count our lucky stars that everything is okay, and each day our anxiety and worry grows for this pregnancy.  It’s not exactly ideal, but of course we feel fortunate that everything is working out so far.

We had such a fun small birthday party for Brody Saturday, and in the evening, per usual, my braxton hicks kicked up and would not let up for about 4 hours.  They do this a few times a week, so I just let them pass and went to bed.  I woke at 5am to stomach pain and bathroom breaks back to back – and I knew I had gotten hit with a flu bug.  I couldn’t get off of the couch, or even drink a sip of water without my stomach killing me.  So the doctor on call wanted me to come in to receive fluids, easy peasy.

Well, wouldn’t you know while we were there the contractions picked up, except for this time around they were every 2-3 minutes and relentless.  So we came in for one thing, and the attention was drawn to getting this contractions to slow down.  Oh, when words like preterm labor and such get thrown around at 31 weeks, its the LAST thing you want to hear.

The boys were so good, sat and watched mom while Dan kept them occupied for a few hours there.  Brody kept asking what would happen if “babys name” were to come now, Oy.  Thats a loaded question.  I swear this entire pregnancy has been a true test to me being off of my anxiety medicine.  It’s like god is waving down at me saying “You think you’ve got it under control Abby? TRY THIS!”  ah!

After 4 hours, they decided it was time to give me the shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions.  The doctor was so sweet, and said she’d feel better sending me home knowing if I had it in me.  Little man kicked the monitor off in the mean time and they decided to give it 10 more minutes and another bag of fluid started, and by pure luck the contractions started to taper further in between.  So, no shot was needed and we were sent home.  If they pick up again like that today, or days following, she said we’ll be getting the shot right away.  Which is just fine with me, we need this little guy in here as long as possible!

It’s definitely been difficult to get in that fun nesting mode, and sweet feelings of the babys arrival becuase each week we’ve been thrown a curveball that keeps our adrenaline high and our worries even higher.  This morning, still feeling sick – Brody woke up with a high fever so I am sure I am spreading the flu love to him too.   Fingers crossed it passes quickly for him, because we all know what can follow after a flu with him.

SO.  While I just want to stick my middle finger up to this Monday and curse the skies for this wicked streak of badluck these past few months, I’m going to count my lucky stars.

We are finishing the nursery these next two weeks, and we have boxes upon boxes of items we’ve purchased to put together.  Trust me, we are all over the moon over here about his impending arrival.  I think we are just greedy and wanting a free pass so that the rest of the pregnancy/delivery/life after will be smooth sailing. Ha.  I know, we’re the Thome’s nothing comes easy.

Sweet baby boy, you stay put for at LEAST 5 more weeks.  Get plump and get ready to join in on all of our fun! xoxo

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EVERY single mother to be faces this fork in the road.  You go 9 long months carrying your baby, or babies in some cases, and you spend countless hours preparing for their arrival.  You’ve had your baby showers, the nursery is as neat and tidy as you will ever see it again and the countdown begins as you anxiously await your first born.

With Brody, I stopped working at 38 weeks.  Unfortunately life as a hair stylist working 12 hour days on my feet running around were not laying right on my pelvis and my hips were about to give out.  I was ready to focus on “preparing” for him, which mainly consisting of cleaning and re cleaning things around the house and trying to stay comfortable.  I was huge, not that “Oh, hunny your pregnant, enjoy it” huge, I mean HUGE.  Like water weight, my body looked like a flotation device huge.  Come to find I was carrying around an 8pd 6oz babe at 5 feet 1″ kind of huge.  He arrived four days late, after a day spent baking a martha stewart bundt cake, contractions picked up in the evening just in time for Dan to arrive home from work and hurry to the hospital.  18 hours later, with the threat of an emergency c-section my body decided to dilate from 5 to 10 in literally 20 minutes or less.

When the doctor came in and said it was time to push it was as if time stood still and my brain completely froze.  I was in the zone – without a doubt.  I could only hear her, and the sound of Dan encouraging me on as I pushed my brains out.  40 minutes later, that bald headed wide eyed Brody was crying away and Dan and I started our parenthood journey.  Having your first born is sincerely the most magical, truly unbelievable moment.   No amount of ultrasounds can help you understand how you grew a human being — its pure insanity.

Nursing was the game plan, he latched perfectly within 30 minutes of delivering him.  It was amazing, and so relaxing.  Family came in and held him tight, passing him around as he was tightly swaddled up and as soon as my epidural wore off they scooted me out into the room I’d be in for a few days.

Within 10 hours I knew this whole “natural course” of nursing was feeling anything but natural.  Brody was struggling to latch properly, leaving me with scabs and bleeding boobs.  It was awful.  By the time I left the hospital I was instructed to strictly pump for him, that him nursing just wasn’t going to happen.  I was fine with that – still in my early day daze of just being smitten with my baby. I’d do whatever it took.

I spent four weeks completely glued to my pumping machine.  For those who have done it, know that it is just as time-consuming as nursing itself.  Pumping 10-12 times a day to maintain my supply, I found myself with the ol’ ball and chain, locked away in a room feeling like a cow with my nipples being tugged at.  It only took 4 weeks for me to grow a profound hate for pumping, and as a first time mommy, I did not hesitate to switch to formula.  I wanted him fed, happy, and more time with him, period.  It was a simple as that.

He grew rapidly and so healthy over that course of that 11 month period.  Not one cold, not one sickness – he was a perfectly happy formula fed baby.

Fast forward to being pregnant with Owen, and I was bitten by the natural bug.  I worked until 3 days before I gave birth, pumping out 12 hour days at the salon, moving slower but feeling fantastic.  I carried different with Owen, ( we did not know the sex ) and the water weight stayed away and so did the intensely large belly.  I was to be induced at 39 weeks along, because what I didn’t describe in the paragraphs above was the immense struggle it was to push Brody out of my smaller frame.  I was stitched in areas the sun doesn’t shine and swollen for weeks, literally ladies, it was a sight to NEVER be seen.

I ADORED being induced, it felt very calming to be in the hospital, knowing that I had the nurses and doctors to keep an eye on the entire process.  It really didn’t feel unnatural, “picking” my childs birthdate. It felt safe and reassuring.  Pitocin started at 9:30/10:00 – and I was all for doing it naturally.  Well, apparently my body decided to push itself into high gear this time around and labor was the polar opposite of Brody.  I came prepared with loads of magazines, snacks for Dan etc, preparing myself for another 18 hour birth.  I will never forget the way those contractions felt.  Gripping the nurse, feeling like I was being put through a meat grinder just shaking up a storm and telling myself I couldn’t do it anymore.  I opted for the epidural, and was so bummed to find I was only 4cm.  That’s all I could make it do before I felt like I was dying.  It took only a few minutes, and the intensity of the contractions sky rocketed through those few minutes, through the roof .   They laid me down and checked me, and I was 7 suddenly.  Which explained why the pain was increasing so rapidly.  30 minutes later, that sweet boy Owen was here.  5 1/2 hours of the fastest labor ever to me, to learn that it was a BOY and a brother for Brody we were elated.

My feeding plan was nursing – that hopefully if all went well, he would latch and we would have zero issues.  And thank the heavens, that little man latched like none other and as painful as the beginning stages of nursing are – it was far “Easier” than my last experience.  So, we marched on to do the whole exclusively nursing thing.  The  first few weeks are a total blur.  Owen was a cluster feeder, and he wanted to nurse every hour, around the clock.  It was obnoxious.  And as exhausted as I was I told myself I had to continue, because, hey, we made it this far.  At 3 weeks old we noticed a rash rapidly developing all over his sweet little frame, come to find he had a severe dairy allergy, not intolerance, allergy.  So, I found myself switching gears and going on a dairy free diet.  What. was. I. thinking.  You guys, I did it for 8 months – exclusively nursed Owen.  He only took one bottle for a weekend away at 5 months and otherwise I was the sole provider for that little guy.

It was overwhelming, it was thrilling, it was so relaxing to nurse with ease.  But it was oh so time-consuming.  Dan didn’t get that special feeding time with Owen, because of Owens refusal for anything else besides the nip.  But once your nursing successfully, it’s so hard to turn back because it took SOOO much work to get where you and the baby are doing it right.  Owen was super sick at 8 months, with is asthma and allergies.  So the whole “your baby is whatever % likely to not have allergies or asthma because you nurse…” ppssh.

So, with this new little guy I am completely on the fence.  Like stick a fork in me I’m so sick of thinking about this done.  A few months ago I never questioned breastfeeding this time around, I was able to do it for 8 months with Owen – I should with this guy too.  And then Dan opened my eyes a bit, I guess pulled the rug out from under me in the nicest, most caring way possible. Asking if I was ready for that all over again … and my mama bliss caught a past tense grip on reality.

The endless hours spent on the couch nursing.  The sore arms, and tears when Owen would never leave my side.  The worry if he was getting enough.   The allergies and my diet that was stripped to nothing.  The ball and chain reality of being the sole provider for your baby and the stress that comes along with that.  The mastisis and thrush that rotated here and there.  Dan remembered all of this, and he remembered that regardless of how happy and good I felt being a mommy of 2, the stress that came along with it all.

I’m grateful for that, that he is capable of keeping me in check.  And he honestly couldn’t care less what path I choose.  Because a fed baby is a happy baby.  BUT there is such a stigma now around breastfeeding.  You always see the campaigns and social media posts of women nursing their babies, and how to take away the social stigmas against nursing.  They are absolutely everywhere.  And while being a prior nursing mama myself, I support it, my stomach literally aches for the mommas that do not have that option.  The moms whose milk supply never came in, who supply has dropped, whose baby developed severe allergies, moms who have PPD, or other medical issues,  adoptive parents or those babies from surrogates – those moms who formula feed and now suddenly feel embarrassed to pull out the bottle when it is now so super trendy to pull out your boob instead.

Celebrities who post their pictures of their gorgeous fresh babe latching and nursing so calmly make it look so easy.  It doesn’t show the tears, the pain and the true dedication it takes to successfully nurse.  And now those moms who formula feed their babies feel like they’ve failed if they chose not to breastfeed.  So I feel that exact pickle right now – I know that I am capable, but do I want too? And how selfish is that if the majority of my reasons not to do it are because of me? One thing I know for sure, is that they thrive no matter what.  So why is there such a stigma attached to it now, and why the heck is it such a big deal? Did our mothers and grandmothers toss and turn over how they were going to feed their babes?

So – for all of you mothers out there like me, who have done both, or want to try one or the other, or who have walked the path.  Just please be more thoughtful of others decisions.  Support your fellow mommy friends, squeeze them when their struggling with the guilt and over all challenges that come with being a new mommy.  Feeding your baby, regardless of which source is, will help your baby grow to be healthy and happy.  Do what feels right.  Not what others think is right.